Ermilia’s Picture It & Write again! This picture is so beautiful, it seems really dark to me, and as we know, dark comes easily to me.
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He hated taking chances. Why on earth did it have to be him going? He peeked around a tree, down at the shoreline. The house had been placed on a small mound of land that would’ve been a peninsula had the tide been a few feet lower. But at this hour, it was an island and could only be reached by crossing a precarious pile of planks that could hardly be called a bridge.
His father had been so foolish. Here he had spent the majority of Marcus’s life drilling into his head the importance of what he was about to do. If he didn’t break into the house and steal back that box, well… His father had always glazed over when he came to that part of the story. “Well, you needn’t know what’ll happen. Because you’ll do it.”
This night would change his life, he said. And yet, dear old dad was back at the inn, drunker than he’d ever been, even in his sailor days. And Marcus was left to retrieve the box himself. It would’ve been helpful to have a helper -someone to keep watch, at least – but as always, he was alone. If only his mother were still alive, she would surely help him. But that too was a story that caused his father to go mute. “She’s dead, alright?” He’d insist. “Ye don’t need to know what happened.” But Marcus wanted to know. He cared about what’d happened to his mother far more than he cared about getting that stupid box. He didn’t even know what was inside it.
His thoughts returned to his mother, as they often did during times of fear. When he was a child she would always rock him and say, “Fear is nothing more than distrust of the one who’s in control”. Marcus was quite sure, however, that even his mother wouldn’t fault him for the trepidation he felt. Here he was, entering an unfamiliar house, filled with any number of unfamiliar occupants, to retrieve a box of ‘untold worth’, for a purpose that he wasn’t allowed to know. He considered leaving, but as he had nowhere else to go other than back to his father, who would give him a firm whipping, he set his sights on the house.
The light in the attic flickered out abruptly, this was his chance. It was nearly sunrise and the light had been glowing all night. He needed to act before morning dawned. The boards of the bridge hardly held his weight and he tiptoed haphazardly across them, gritting his teeth with every crack and squeak he caused. The pathway up to the front of the house was made of beaten down dirt, and was just wide enough for one person to walk on. It was really a haunting little island, dabbed with nothing but a tree or two and endless tufts of dying grass.
An unexpected light flared up in a front window that was almost level with his face. He fell to the ground, wriggling out of the beam of light pouring out of the window. He heard a voice speaking inside, the tone muffled and delicate through the thin, wavy glass of the window, and he paused. It couldn’t be. “No,” he thought, “No, it’s can’t be.” Though Marcus was a good boy, he was not entirely smart. His stomach pressed to the ground, he crawled toward to house, and his fears dampened by curiosity, his raised his face to the window. There, sitting inside of the house in an old rocking chair, and looking more serene than he had ever seen her, it was his mother.

I love the way you write!
Thank you! I’m blushing.
Reminds me of the old Night Gallery series.
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Ooh, I can kind of see that! Thanks for reading!
Eloquently spun, my dear. Like you, I sense dread in the image. Although I would like to sequester myself there to work on a few chapters of my stalled novel. No phone (not a cell tower in sight), no internet, no interruptions. Just me and the shore birds.
Thank you very much! It’s odd because the picture is taken in daylight, but while I was writing I picturing it taking place during the night. Then when I was done I went back to the picture and was surprised to find that it was so much lighter than I perceived it as. I think that sounds lovely, that’s what I need to do! Just rent a cabin in the woods and lock myself in until I finish editing my book.
an unexpected twist at the end. bravo
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for visiting my spiritually-centered poetry site. I am now an official follower of your blog. Beautiful work! It is my hope that you will also find in my work, blessings in your own personal journey. Have a great weekend.
John
I must say I didn’t expect this ending. You have a way of keeping your reader in suspense.
Here’s my story: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/05/27/picture-it-write-the-edge/
Your story is so good! It got my palms sweating very quickly.
I can’t wait to read more of your stuff!
Great writing. I loved having the picture to go along with it. A smart idea, indeed! I loved the tension that built in your words and the climactic ending. Wonderful!
Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! They always pick the best pictures for these challenges.
Oh, no! You can’t stop there! What a fantastic cliff hanger. You have gripped me as a reader, well done. I really like how you described the island – ‘dabbed with nothing but a tree or two and endless tufts of dying grass.’ Such a concise and well-rounded way of describing the scene. I hope to see you next week on Picture it & write! Congrats on your lovely story.
- Ermisenda
Thank you, and thank you for posting that picture! All the pictures are so great and inspiring!
I love the way you weave images and words. Great blog you have here. Thanks for dropping by, glad I came to visit.
Thank you for reading!
Very nice
And I’ll definitely check out Picture It & Write – what a cool idea!
You definitely should, it’s a lot of fun!
I didn’t realize you’d done one of these already, I have some reading to do. I really like this. It stands alone pretty well, but also has the strength to hold a much bigger story. I like the fear quote!
I’m so glad you like it! I love this picture, it was so inspiring.
Great pic – and resulting post!
Are you continuing it, or are you just leaving it at that?! :O
Maybe someday I’ll continue it, but right now it’s just a stand-alone piece.
Nicely written and that you lead up to the climax of the story in such a way to want the reader to keep reading…outstanding.