When I was in high school, Mondays always made me nervous. Why? Well, because I was always terrified of going back to class and learning that I’d have to, gulp, talk in front of people.

Yes, like zillions of people all over the world, I hate public speaking.. Attention makes my head get foggy, and when I have to think about what I’m trying to say with a bunch of eyes on me… things get sweaty.

So it’s not all that surprising that I decided on being a writer. It’s one of the most antisocial jobs out there.

At least before you factor in blogging, and networking, and all of those fun caveats that come along with the dream. But they really don’t count to me, because as long as all of you can’t actually see me fidgeting and getting all shifty-eyed while I’m trying to come up with the right words to say what I want to say, I’m cool as a cucumber.

In the grown up world after graduation, the occasions when I’m forced to speak in front of a large group are few and far between. Finally, my blood pressure has gotten used to seeing smooth waters.

But this morning when I woke up, I felt something strange. I felt anxious. My heart has been beating like it’s literally full of coffee and my hands are so sweaty that it’s probably safer if I don’t try to carry any china.

I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t have an impending speech or presentation. It’s almost more nervewracking. I’ve made myself a deadline, and that deadline is closing in with terrifying speed.

e457c5c84c0411e38ee212ae0e21946a_8I told myself that I MUST finish ALL outlining master plan-ingΒ by my birthday, with enough detail that I could begin writing my book in earnest without stopping to think, “Wait, where am I going with this scene? What’s supposed to be happening?”. Enough detail for each scene so that I can go back to the master plan and know exactly what happens in each scene and how everyone acts toward each other, and how that ties into the eventual ending.

Which sounds a little over the top, but as I said, I’m all or nothing! I’m actually learning how much more fun it is to write scenes off a really detailed outline (I’ve cheated and written up a few scenes), and I just keep telling myself how quickly writing is going to go once that plan is all finished.

People, my birthday is Saturday. This is going to be busy week, and I’m scared.

Wish me luck!

How’s everyone else’s writing going?